Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?
In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur’s sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded valuable intelligence.
I support the Minotaur.
so in 1896, newspapers were the ancient internet?
Love how there’s always one panelist who makes sense, but gets pummelled by the others.
@AdamYJ Heck yeah, I totally agree with this. Think what we could accomplish if we had, say, 5000 or so mind-slaves with unshakable loyalty.
this is just terrible. one more reason why everyone hates america. it’s bad enough to water board, but to use a minotaur is inhumane. i’m writing a letter to my congressman to see who should be held accountable for this frightening lapse of judgement.
TROLL!
@EltonvonCthulhu How about zombies? The old-school ones that just obey their voodoo masters. Not sure the military has that kind of necromantic support system, though.
since 1896?
@MrKibbles2268 I’m not from America but the rest of the world likes Al Gore you know, Americas the only one who makes fun of him, i’m sure, My country doesn’t, he’s big on saving the environment, and we’re the cleanest greenest country though, why doesn’t america like him
@athenasatanjesus So now you’re racist against purple people? Please, we’re far past those times.
What we need to do is bring forth the Shapeshifters. They’re great for extracting information without psychologically scarring our prisoners!
these guys are hilarious
I think that the minotaur represents Al Gore
im amazed no 40iq people took this seriously like they take every other onion video
@jarheadkauai Dude…read back that statement. Satyr VIRGINS? Okay, even if metagenetics showed that there are male and female satyrs, finding a virgin is impossible.
Also, you ever seen a nymph go to work on a prisoner in interrogation? They may have been promised something…except there’s a difference between something promised and something delivered.
Although it’s likely you haven’t seen nymphs go to work on a prisoner…not enough women are allowed into active combat roles.
@Chunkboi
Nymphs would never work! These people have already been promised 72 satyr virgins in Elesyian Fields.
@jarheadkauai I was talking about the merfolk. You know, it’s hard to get them to march when “marching” involves feet they don’t have. As far as the centaurs are concerned…use dragons to airlift them in. No radar signature, no engine noise. But we are getting way off topic here…
Look, you want to get terrorists to talk, and have zero torture involved? Nymphs. I guarantee you, they will have them spilling their guts, and we may even get a few defectors to our side as a bonus.
Banes should turn the vacuum off and join the discussion.
@Chunkboi
incompatible with their environment? They’re centaurs how the hell were they expected to parachute into Tehran? Modern war isn’t like the old beach landings with thousands of horse people. But when a Democrat messes up you just wanna forget about it. And the merfolk would be winning in Iraq if they’re flippers weren’t bound by insane rules of engagement.
@jarheadkauai Oh right, all the same. I met the minotaur. He works for Blizzard now. Got out too late to be a character model, but he works in billing. Nice guy, really.
There’s also a sizeable difference between disavowing troop actions and sending troops into terrain that’s incompatible with their habitat!
And don’t even get me started on how Bush gutted the Iraq military rather than using them. Oh that really pissed off the indigenous djinn. That’s not politics, that’s just stupid.
@Chunkboi
Oh, like how Jimmy Carter dissavowed all knowledge of the 1st Centaur Unit’s actions in Iran during the Hostage Crisis? You liberals are all the same.
@jarheadkauai Oh cut Obama a break. The torture labyrinth was not only unconscionable, but the intel gained was dubious at best. And at least Obama deployed the USMC dragon airwings to Afghanistan where they were needed! What’d Rumsfeld do to our fighting mythological creatures? He buried the casualty reports of hundreds of merfolk which he deployed to the MIDDLE OF IRAQ, for crying out loud! How do you make THAT kind of tactical screwup?!
The pictures of the Minotaur are clearly photoshopped. He is much more terrifying than that, it is government probaganda.
@YumeNoMatsuri
Never mind the fact that the diploid numbers are different meaning that any offspring would be infertile as all sperm/eggs contain half a chromosome.
@LendMeYourHand. But the DNA has to be compatible. You can’t make a catdog because the DNA won’t mix, the specific nucleotide coding can change traits, or mutations can bring out mismatches, but two whole strands can’t interlink.
Funniest ending ever.